Week #3 of the Dep/Mar Project

So here we are in week number three. How are you doing? I hope well. Here you go for our next week. Continue to be grateful and faithful as you progress with us. We don't leave a principal behind we just add to it. Good luck and hope you're learning as much as we are!

The Letter:

Hi Handsome!

Well now we’re in the swing of things, or the thick of things, or we’re just into things now. Just kidding! Hope all is going smoothly. I assume some “things” have gone well and others probably not so well. Either way I am here to brighten your day, morning, evening, night…well you get it, whenever you get it : ). Of course, the miss you part is still very much in tact and though we miss you more the longer you’re gone, I hope we’ve been productive at home with projects, projects, projects, and maybe a little fun too!

Okay, so how’s the studying going?

You’ve had amazing success? That’s wonderful.

OR

Not so great, you keep forgetting? Well, get off your cute bum and change that!

(Choose the appropriate answer. Don’t lie – I think that’s one of our topics.)

I am 100% positive you’re closer to the success answer. You’ve always been a smart cookie and a spiritual one too. I hope these letters and the project is helping you to not only get through each day, but to make each one count. You know, I was thinking about life in general and I realized that one of the things I’m most grateful for about you is how you helped me see the value in each day, each hour, each moment. I’m great at planning, preparing, and perfecting, but I’m not so good at relaxing, enjoying, and recognizing the blessings of small moments of laughter, love, and companionship. That’s all you. Because of this change in perspective I’ve recognized how short each day really is to accomplish something. With this project I’m hoping that we both are using our time to our advantage and really making the most of this opportunity to grow. I don’t always like growing, but wow, I love the grown part! More to the point – use your time wisely. When we get to the end of our lives I want to have really earned every gray hair, every wrinkle, every achy muscle and old bone. I want my body to show on the outside how much my heart and spirit have been used on the inside.

Love

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear…we love him, because he first loved us…and this commandment have we from him, that he who loveth God love his brother also.”

– 1 John 4:18-21

So to the project of your deployment. This is week 3 – Love. I know, that’s such a big topic. Love what, love who, love how? Well I think the above scripture choice is pretty good at clarifying and narrowing this topic. Isn’t it neat how these things come together? I’m a little surprised myself! So I figure we will focus on our love for God and of God by working on loving when it’s hard, or we don’t want to, or we don’t feel love. I thought that would be using our week very productively. Now, I know you’re thinking, “I like everyone here.” You are that way, but what about the sergeant you left behind in Shaw? You know that guy, the one you wanted to get stuck holding all the crappy cards. Well, it’s time to love him too. It’s time to love the colonel who’s pushing you too hard and the enlisted guy who stole your book because he thought it was funny. This is the time to really search our hearts to get rid of all those unkind, nasty feelings toward anyone or anything that may keep us from truly loving God. So that’s this week’s assignment and I know you’ll have wonderful experiences as you seek to really love those around you. I know with all my heart that you are a loving man and that those who are required to be around you will seek out your presence and delight in your attitude.

I wish you luck on this new one and now that you know the drill, you can search out your study so much better. Granted I know that you’re a busy guy, but I also know that this project we’re doing together is a blessing from Heavenly Father to a wife who wanted to stay in close contact with a husband who is now thousands of miles away. I also know that the experiences and lessons we learn during this will be as beneficial a point in our marriage and in our lives as was reading the Book of Mormon together across the miles during your first year of school. We have been blessed with so much and I know it’s because we seek after the things of God and his presence in our lives, marriage, and family.

Love you bunches, miss you tons, a billion kisses and that’s just from the KIDS!!!

I love you too : )!

Special Sumter Friends

I know who you're thinking of and you're wrong. This is a post about those "friends" that I'd just rather not know much about. These include the red ants, the spiders and those weird worms that live here.

First, we recently had some significant experiences with these friends of ours. A little bit ago I took the kids on base for an appt. Well Evie likes to run around once out of the van and to preempt that I told her she had to stay on the curb while I got Lizzy out of the van. I said, "stay right there, don't move." She did great until, while on the side of the van where I couldn't see, she started jumping up and down and yelling. Well, anyone who knows my daughter knows this happens pretty much 1oo times every day so I ignored her until I brought Lizzy to the other side. Of course, this time she had good reason. The exact spot I told her not to move from was a string of red anthills! I hadn't even noticed and obviously neither had she. She was jumping up and down and crying because they were all over and biting. She had on open sandals and little shorts and the ants were taking advantage.

So I stopped messing with Lizzy, told Joe not to move (scanning the place before I left) and then picked Evie straight up in the air and brought her down hard enough next to me that she lost her balance. Then I did it again and stripped off her shoes. I got every one of those little suckers off my baby girl. (ok, not baby, but mommy instinct don't care how old she gets) We checked every inch of her and overall, she had only two bites! Thank goodness. I don't think I could've handled more. It was my fault she was standing there. And she had listened so well. I was grateful though to hear her quote me when she said, we leave them alone, they leave us alone. So she does listen, she gained a good lesson, and she's no worse for ware.

Honestly of all the time we've spent here and with all the hills in our yard and the way both the kids like to mess with their "homes," I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. Of course, if I went outside with them it'd probably happen a lot.

Our next friend was a large spider in our garage. I've been really careful about my cleaning and junk just sitting around because insects in warm places end up inside a lot easier than other places (courtesy knowledge of a mission). So when I found a rather large spider (and I mean with legs out, he was as big as my hand) I was concerned. I'd done enough research when we first got here to know the major ones to stay away from. Well, this one looked not happy. He was content where he was, but the kids go in the garage near where he was to get their bikes and toys at least a couple of times every week. So, it couldn't stay there.

My philosophy about bugs is if it's in my space, it's my choice. If I'm in their space, I give them plenty of it. Well, most bugs I just put outside. They don't really want to be inside anyway. But I wasn't 100% sure if this was a bad one or not. So I called my reliable home teacher. I know - how pathetic right? NO! My experience had taught me that God made some spiders big for a reason. The last one that was close to this size in my personal experience could jump at you and send you to the hospital! (again, thanks mission) So, I felt a little stupid, but not enough to ignore a possible danger to my kids.

He was so sweet! He came over, looked at it, and .... stepped on it. Yep, that's it. No scurrying, no jumping, no nothing. And of course, at the time he came to look at it, it was colder so the guy had curled up nice and little. Now, I felt stupid. He was great though. He validated that what I had was a wolf spider (definitely not the same look as the ones in Spokane), but that they're often mistaken for the local Brown Recluse which is extremely poisonous. He said they're almost identical. Ok, so no points on the scale for overreacting just a bit, but awesome points for being like most other people and not knowing the difference. (honestly, I looked. I couldn't find a positive id on the net).

So, if you think I'm super girly when it comes to spiders, you think that. But I regularly kill beetles, cockroaches, flies, bees, wasps, and lots of other stuff. I even kill spiders. Big spiders get special consideration just like big stinging insects. If it can come at me or move things on its own it gets more space and thought before I just kill it or think I can kill it.

Finally, the weird worm of Sumter. This worm is so odd. When we first got here it creeped me out big time. I thought they were spiders. This thing hibernates like bears or something, but in trees. Not a big deal right? Nope, it makes a spectacle of itself by making these huge webby nest things in the trees. It kills the whole branch, stem, or even a whole tree (it was a smaller one). It's weird, gross, and I've never actually seen the worm! It's hard to miss though when you see them.

So there you go. Our special Sumter friends and how we cope. It's just another part of life in a place that I don't always understand. That's why we leave home though right? New experiences are priceless, just don't tell that to Evie till she's much older.

Catching Up 3.2

So for our next post: the funeral

Well after some much needed rest the night before we got our kids all gussied up (is that how you spell it?) and holy cow, they were cute! I know, I'm biased, but they looked classy! We drove to the National Cemetery - never been to one besides Arlington - and made it before anyone else in my immediate family. One of the only people to beat us there was Grampa's little brother, Roy and a few others who had driven from the coast just to be there. Grampa would've loved all the support.

I think what I liked best about waiting in that line of cars, was that I knew every face and enjoyed warm hugs from every car. Thank you Grampa for inviting my family to all the reunions and showing me how important they are. It was almost perfect: you just weren't there to make funny comments and Grama wasn't there to say "Jim!" with protestation. Your spirit was felt quite strongly though, don't think anyone could've missed that.

After we were all there, they escorted us to the "shelter" on the hill. It was small, but clean and nice glass and stone enclosure. Thank goodness, it was quite windy that day and though sunny, very chilly. We all sat down and were greeted by Grama and Grampa's smiling faces from some beautiful framed collages mom and dad had made for both her parents long before this. I had never seen them, so I really liked looking at the collections of pictures and awards. Grama was beautiful and Grampa was totally cute! I know, but geez, put that man in uniform and who wouldn't want to date him? Grama didn't have a chance. That's how he felt about Grama in her red dress and I have to be honest, it was her color. They were great together.

Anyway, so the program started and I know it's not the right order, but we listened to the gun salute (Lizzy didn't cry, whew!) and the bagpipes play "Amazing Grace" and I was solemn, but fine. That is until they played Taps and I saw my big little brother crying underneath his dark shades. Then I couldn't help but cry too. Some men!!! I loved when they handed mom the crisp colored flags and expressed their gratitude for her parents' service to our country. It was such a nice recognition of all they had done all their lives. They stopped working for the military, but they never stopped living the military. It was who they were and such a support for the men in our lives, my husband, Beckie's husband, my husband's family (also previous military). They had a profound effect on all of us.

After the ceremony we watched as they put them both into the wall, side-by-side, as they always were. Grama ornate and lovely, Grampa simple and strong. That's when I noticed that my oldest nephew couldn't stop the tears and then I got all teary again. Some men!!!! They sure make it hard on us weepy women.

We followed everyone then to the memorial service at the funeral home. The program was simple and nice, but the part I loved was the video mom had done. Oh, how wonderful it was. Every picture of my grandparents they were looking at each other like the whole world had no idea how wonderful their marriage was. They were so in love, before kids, during kids, after kids, during military, after military, during sickness and death, and afterward. A love like that is not seen in real life very often anymore, but having been the recipient of a love like that (and I hope for it to continue in such a way) I can tell you, it's real and it happens! The pictures included their grand kids, great-grand kids, nieces, nephews, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles and almost anyone under the sun who fell within the radius of the Nix's all giving love and devotion. I loved it.

Not many got the opportunity to express how they felt about them due to a miscommunication, but I wanted to tell you how I felt, if you can't tell already. Grampa was the kind of guy that was at first, intimidating and a bit scary. Come on, I was a little girl! He always pushed for more effort and better work than I thought I could give. There was a time when I just really didn't like him, but as I got older I saw how much he cared. He pushed because he knew I could do it, he asked for a lot because he knew I had more to give, and I didn't like him because he chose to love me and be an example instead of my friend. It's what real love is like. As I got older I realized the only thing I really wanted from him was his approval on something important. Some choice, some action, some award, something that made him aware that I had listened to his lessons. I never felt like I had gotten it until he met my choice in husband.

He met Chris long before we were married. He and Grama hosted us in Texas for a few weeks when we were in high school. Then he saw him again after Chris' mission and again a while later after we were married. Then one day he pulled me aside after Chris and I had experienced some setbacks in the job world and were discussing what to do next. He looked me right in the eye and then looked at my sweet husband sitting across the room chatting with Grama. Then he turned back and said, "he's a good one Tamy." That's it. My heart danced. I knew he liked who I had chosen because he saw in my husband the kind of man that he had always tried hard to be. A man of integrity and honor. A man of sacrifice and love. A man willing to do whatever was needed for good. And a man who loved his family and God above all else. Not saying Chris is perfect or that Grampa was, just that both men have/had the potential to be all that and more. He never said another word about Chris like that, but I caught him watching how we were together a lot and I saw him smile at Chris' jokes or share things with my husband he'd not shared with anyone else I knew. He respected my husband and I always felt he respected me because he knew I knew a good one when I saw it.

I loved my grandfather so much. He was a kind and gentle man. He was the kind of man I want my son(s) to be and my daughters to marry. He's the kind of man who loved deeply, worked hard, sacrificed much, and best of all, laughed loud and hard. Even up to the very end he laughed, mostly at our kids, but you couldn't help laugh too when you heard it or saw it.

Later, we all met at the church for a small dinner, some great family pix I hope I get soon, and conversation. It was a good day. I cried, I laughed, I missed, I loved, and boy, did I hug!